Most of us are or was a pet owner, but have you ever looked at your pet, and wondered when that day comes, are you ever ready to say good bye? I didn’t think it would be so hard until that day when my beloved Mina passed away while the rest of the world including me was asleep. My four years old daughter cried with me and my wife comforted me but still the pain was there even until today…
I was a freshman in high school when my dad came home from work one late December night with Mina wrapped in a blanket. She was only a few weeks old and had trouble walking correctly due to weak leg muscles but I loved her with all my heart.
My dad found her in a box by some trash cans and couldn’t bear to leave her out in the cold. He thought she would make a good company for me when he’s out working late. My mom passed away when I was in middle school due to an incurable illness.
I didn’t make many friends through my four years in high school. Mina became my best friend. I shared with her everything; from how my day went to my dreams for the future. She listened and was always there waiting for me when I came home every day.
Shortly after I graduated from college, I got married with my beautiful wife who I met during my college years. She loved Mina as much as I did. Shortly after we got married, my daughter Melody was born. She adored Mina very much, they often played together.
While my daughter was getting older so was Mina. By my daughter’s second birthday, I noticed that Mina was slowing down in everything she did. She was no longer a kitten but a very old cat.
By Melody’s third birthday, Mina slept more and ate much less. My daughter asked me many times what was wrong with her best friend. I told her that she was just getting old and needed more rest. But deep down I knew it was time for her to go.
A few days after Melody’s fourth birthday, Mina gave up moving and eating. She was shutting herself down slowly. My wife and I decided to end her suffering by taking her to the vet and put her to sleep. My daughter was against it.
“Daddy, Mina will get well!” She cried to me.
“I’m sorry, honey.” I said “Mina is a very old cat. There’s nothing we can do to help her.”
“No! You’re a murder!” She ran over to Mina and held her in her little arms.
I decided to wait maybe until the end of the week to take Mina to the vet so they can spend some time together. But the opposite happened; Mina never made it to see the morning light. I woke up to her lifeless body lying there in her bed so peacefully. I stroked her fur gently hoping to wake up her up, but she never did. My wife comforted me as I cried in her arms. Afterward, we put her in a nice little box so my daughter won’t have to see it. We walked to Melody’s room and woke her up gently.
“Honey, Mina is gone.” I said gently while trying to hold back my tears. “I’m so sorry.”
She cried in my arms…no we cried together.
That late afternoon, we buried her in our backyard with a nice cross standing over it. I picked up my daughter and whispered into her ear, “Mina is in cat heaven…she is in a better place.”
“I loved Mina.” My daughter said with her eyes filled with tears. “Do you think she left because she didn’t like us?”
“I loved her too.” I reassured her. “I know she loved us very much but it was time for her to go because she was old.”
Even though a few years have passed, it’s still hard not to shed some tears when I see that cross standing there in our backyard. I know she is in a better place but there was one thing I never got a chance to tell her and that was: “Thank you…thank you for everything you have done for me.”
Monday, August 2, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Gently
From a far distant place, a piano is playing our song gently
At the sound of our song, the empty sky burst into tears
Washing everything away
Leaving behind a shade of gray
Suddenly, the piano stops as a stranger with a gentle gaze appears
His hair and cloak soaked from the rain
With his trembling fingers, he gently touch the cold keyboards on the piano
He places himself slowly onto the seat of the piano
He bursts into tears
A maiden with a fragile heart appears before him
She places her hands gently upon his shoulders
Her hands were cold
Her dark hair was down and soaked from the rain
She was wearing nothing but a long white dress
She's so pale
He looks up into her empty and colorless gaze
On her knees
She gently places her head on his lap
Without a word
The stranger begin to play our song gently
The empty sky continue to cry
The stranger with a gentle gaze continue to play
As the maiden with a fragile sleeps soundly on his lap
From a far distant, a piano is playing our song gently…
And gently…
Gently…
Darling
Without a star in sight,
The sky gave itself up into darkness
The clouds begins to cry at the sight of what was happening
Washing away life mercilessly with its tears
Into one color
Soaked from head to toe
You noticed a lonely flower
Trying to grasp what little life it has left in her
Taking off your shirt quickly
You became a protection for this helpless thing
I watched all this in silence
I can see the life is slowly draining out of you
Yet why do you still smile?
With my tremble hands
I reached for you
Only to bring back memories of you
Suppressed by bitter pain
And in confusion
I begin to walk
Walk away from you
Turning away for one last good bye
I found you lying on the muddy ground
Sleeping perhaps
Slowly your dreams begin to unravel before me
In colors that I have never dare to dream
But it gave me a reason to continued to protect what you have left behind
“Darling, I am here tending your precious light without you.”
I whispered gently to the flower
The wind begin to sing to us
A familiar melody
A lullaby for the clouds
Slowly
The thing we called “light” emerged through from within the darkness
The very little flower we protected
Bloomed before my eyes
I found myself remembering how to smile
Falling onto you
This time I was sure it was you
That my head is resting upon
Closing my eyes slowly
I whispered,
“I love you darling.”
The sky gave itself up into darkness
The clouds begins to cry at the sight of what was happening
Washing away life mercilessly with its tears
Into one color
Soaked from head to toe
You noticed a lonely flower
Trying to grasp what little life it has left in her
Taking off your shirt quickly
You became a protection for this helpless thing
I watched all this in silence
I can see the life is slowly draining out of you
Yet why do you still smile?
With my tremble hands
I reached for you
Only to bring back memories of you
Suppressed by bitter pain
And in confusion
I begin to walk
Walk away from you
Turning away for one last good bye
I found you lying on the muddy ground
Sleeping perhaps
Slowly your dreams begin to unravel before me
In colors that I have never dare to dream
But it gave me a reason to continued to protect what you have left behind
“Darling, I am here tending your precious light without you.”
I whispered gently to the flower
The wind begin to sing to us
A familiar melody
A lullaby for the clouds
Slowly
The thing we called “light” emerged through from within the darkness
The very little flower we protected
Bloomed before my eyes
I found myself remembering how to smile
Falling onto you
This time I was sure it was you
That my head is resting upon
Closing my eyes slowly
I whispered,
“I love you darling.”
Mr. Taro
"Daddy, look at me!" My six years old daughter Eri called to me as she continues to swing back and forth on her new swing set.
"Very good princess." I said with a big smile on my face. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed that Mr. Taro is sleeping peacefully under a bush. "Kenta, did you let the cat out again?" I turned to my eight years old son who was busy playing with his Nintendo DS Lite "It's not me dad."
"It was me honey." My wife, Yuki looked up from her reading. "I think it's nice for Mr. Taro to get some sun once in awhile."
"But you know his bad habit dear." I protested to her. "He likes to wander off when we're not looking."
"Hmm..but he's always home by dinner time, you know that." She went back to her reading again.
One of the things I learned from my marriage is that I can't win against my wife in any arguments; somehow she's always right in the end.
I met Yuki in college through a friend of mine. We were both attending Osaka University at that time but majored in different things; I majored in writing and she majored in children's education. I'm not sure if it was love at first sight but I knew I wanted to spent the rest of my life with this woman right from the start. We had our ups and downs but somehow we made it through.
"Help me down daddy." Eri's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I quickly went over and helped her down. "Thank you." She hugged my legs tightly.
"You're welcome, honey." I patted her on the head. We made our way over to Yuki.
"It's almost time for dinner." I showed Yuki the time on my watch.
"Then we better get inside then and I'll start dinner." She closed her book.
"Where's Mr. Taro?" Eri asked.
"He probably wandered off again." Kenta made his way over to us.
"We'll wait for him at home princess."
Shortly after we got home, it started to rain. "Weird, I don't remember the weather man mentioned rain today." Yuki looked at me.
"Do you think Mr. Taro will be okay?" Eri looked at me too.
"He will be just fine." Yuki picked up Eri and put her on her lap. "He's a smart cat."
"I'll go out and look for him." I grabbed a umbrella from the closet.
"Be careful darling, it's pouring and windy outside."
The rain is really coming down hard I thought to myself. I can feel the force of the rain beating down on my umbrella. Please be okay Mr. Taro I prayed silently.
"Mr. Taro!" I called as loud as I could but it was not loud enough to beat the sound of the pouring rain and the howling winds.
1 hour passed, 2, and then 3, still no luck on finding Mr. Taro. I went back home feeling like failure. Yuki greeted me with a hug. She has already put the kids to bed and was waiting for me to get home by the window. I changed out of my wet clothes while she made coffee for me. Afterward, we just sat there listening to the flickering sound of our old reading lamp.
Mr. Taro is a very important part of my life. He appeared from nowhere when I was five. I was a quiet boy with a speaking problem. My first word was at five. Before that, I didn't know how to speak. I used to point to let my parents know that I wanted something. My brothers as well as the school kids would make fun of me because of this. Every day going home from school, I would run into some bullies. Kids can be so merciless with other kids. The only thing I could do was run. I ran as fast as my little legs could but it was still not fast enough. They beat me with their little fists and I was always coming home with new bruises.
Then one day, I was walking home like any other day except it started to rain. I didn't have a umbrella. "Hey Hideki!" I looked up and saw Tashiro and his buddies slowly making their way to me. Fears suppressed me as I backed away and into a wall. Before they could do anything, something jumped between them and me; a tabby cat.
"It's a stupid cat!" Tashiro laughed.
The cat as if knew that Tashiro was laughing at him, attacked him with his claws. That scared the other kids off. Tashiro, now face covered with blood mixed with tears cursed at me before running off too.
I nodded to the cat as a way of thanking him before continuing home. The cat followed me all the way home and protected me from that day on. My parents didn't want to keep him at first. They tried kicking him out but I wouldn't let them. I grabbed my dad's arm and cried out, "CAT!" That surprised him. "Hideki just spoke!" My dad got excited. From that day on, I learned to speak.
"Hideki, are you okay?" Yuki's voice snapped me out of my flashbacks.
"I have to go out and look for him!" I said
"No you can't! It's so dark and pouring out!" She protested
"You don't understand! Mr. Taro protected me when I was young now it's my turn to protect him!" I run out of the house and into the darkness.
"MR. TARO!" I yelled "ANSWER ME PLEASE!"
An hour passed with no sign of Mr. Taro. I fell on my knees and cried. "This is all my fault."
"Meow?"
I looked up. "Mr. Taro?"
"Meeeeoooow?"
"Mr. Taro, where are you?"
The sound, where is coming from? I asked myself.
"Meeeeeeeoooooooowwwwwww..
I followed the fainting meows to a garbage dump. There, beneath all the garbage bags and other things is Mr. Taro, soaked and scared. I quickly took off my shirt and wrapped him up. "I'm here now, Mr. Taro. Let's go home old friend."
Half way home, I ran into Yuki. She dropped her umbrella at the sight of Mr. Taro and me. With tears in her eyes, she hugged us both tightly. Afterward, we made our way home slowly, enjoying the beating of the pouring rain and the sound of the howling winds. "Purrrrrrr...."
"Very good princess." I said with a big smile on my face. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed that Mr. Taro is sleeping peacefully under a bush. "Kenta, did you let the cat out again?" I turned to my eight years old son who was busy playing with his Nintendo DS Lite "It's not me dad."
"It was me honey." My wife, Yuki looked up from her reading. "I think it's nice for Mr. Taro to get some sun once in awhile."
"But you know his bad habit dear." I protested to her. "He likes to wander off when we're not looking."
"Hmm..but he's always home by dinner time, you know that." She went back to her reading again.
One of the things I learned from my marriage is that I can't win against my wife in any arguments; somehow she's always right in the end.
I met Yuki in college through a friend of mine. We were both attending Osaka University at that time but majored in different things; I majored in writing and she majored in children's education. I'm not sure if it was love at first sight but I knew I wanted to spent the rest of my life with this woman right from the start. We had our ups and downs but somehow we made it through.
"Help me down daddy." Eri's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I quickly went over and helped her down. "Thank you." She hugged my legs tightly.
"You're welcome, honey." I patted her on the head. We made our way over to Yuki.
"It's almost time for dinner." I showed Yuki the time on my watch.
"Then we better get inside then and I'll start dinner." She closed her book.
"Where's Mr. Taro?" Eri asked.
"He probably wandered off again." Kenta made his way over to us.
"We'll wait for him at home princess."
Shortly after we got home, it started to rain. "Weird, I don't remember the weather man mentioned rain today." Yuki looked at me.
"Do you think Mr. Taro will be okay?" Eri looked at me too.
"He will be just fine." Yuki picked up Eri and put her on her lap. "He's a smart cat."
"I'll go out and look for him." I grabbed a umbrella from the closet.
"Be careful darling, it's pouring and windy outside."
The rain is really coming down hard I thought to myself. I can feel the force of the rain beating down on my umbrella. Please be okay Mr. Taro I prayed silently.
"Mr. Taro!" I called as loud as I could but it was not loud enough to beat the sound of the pouring rain and the howling winds.
1 hour passed, 2, and then 3, still no luck on finding Mr. Taro. I went back home feeling like failure. Yuki greeted me with a hug. She has already put the kids to bed and was waiting for me to get home by the window. I changed out of my wet clothes while she made coffee for me. Afterward, we just sat there listening to the flickering sound of our old reading lamp.
Mr. Taro is a very important part of my life. He appeared from nowhere when I was five. I was a quiet boy with a speaking problem. My first word was at five. Before that, I didn't know how to speak. I used to point to let my parents know that I wanted something. My brothers as well as the school kids would make fun of me because of this. Every day going home from school, I would run into some bullies. Kids can be so merciless with other kids. The only thing I could do was run. I ran as fast as my little legs could but it was still not fast enough. They beat me with their little fists and I was always coming home with new bruises.
Then one day, I was walking home like any other day except it started to rain. I didn't have a umbrella. "Hey Hideki!" I looked up and saw Tashiro and his buddies slowly making their way to me. Fears suppressed me as I backed away and into a wall. Before they could do anything, something jumped between them and me; a tabby cat.
"It's a stupid cat!" Tashiro laughed.
The cat as if knew that Tashiro was laughing at him, attacked him with his claws. That scared the other kids off. Tashiro, now face covered with blood mixed with tears cursed at me before running off too.
I nodded to the cat as a way of thanking him before continuing home. The cat followed me all the way home and protected me from that day on. My parents didn't want to keep him at first. They tried kicking him out but I wouldn't let them. I grabbed my dad's arm and cried out, "CAT!" That surprised him. "Hideki just spoke!" My dad got excited. From that day on, I learned to speak.
"Hideki, are you okay?" Yuki's voice snapped me out of my flashbacks.
"I have to go out and look for him!" I said
"No you can't! It's so dark and pouring out!" She protested
"You don't understand! Mr. Taro protected me when I was young now it's my turn to protect him!" I run out of the house and into the darkness.
"MR. TARO!" I yelled "ANSWER ME PLEASE!"
An hour passed with no sign of Mr. Taro. I fell on my knees and cried. "This is all my fault."
"Meow?"
I looked up. "Mr. Taro?"
"Meeeeoooow?"
"Mr. Taro, where are you?"
The sound, where is coming from? I asked myself.
"Meeeeeeeoooooooowwwwwww..
I followed the fainting meows to a garbage dump. There, beneath all the garbage bags and other things is Mr. Taro, soaked and scared. I quickly took off my shirt and wrapped him up. "I'm here now, Mr. Taro. Let's go home old friend."
Half way home, I ran into Yuki. She dropped her umbrella at the sight of Mr. Taro and me. With tears in her eyes, she hugged us both tightly. Afterward, we made our way home slowly, enjoying the beating of the pouring rain and the sound of the howling winds. "Purrrrrrr...."
My Summer
"Hey Hikari!" I looked up from my reading and waved at Kenji. He quickly made his way over to my table.
"I'm starving!" He took a seat right across from me. "You want to get some food?"
"Yeah let me finish up this last page."
It didn't take me too long to finish up what I was reading and I went with Kenji to his favorite ramen shop just down the block from the school. We both ordered the house special ramen with everything and two sodas. While we were waiting for our food, a girl walked in. At first glance, she didn't really catch my eyes until she opened up her mouth to order some sashimi with green tea. Her voice, it reminded me so much of her.
"Mitsuko?"
"Who?" Kenji looked at me with a confused look. "Who are you calling to?"
"That girl!" I pointed her out. Kenji turned around quickly to have a look at her.
"Oh that girl?" Kenji turned back and looked at me straight in the eyes "Her name is not Mitsuko, its Miko."
"Are you sure?" I lowered my voice to make sure Miko doesn't hear us.
"Yeah, she's Tanaka sensei's daughter." Kenji took a slip of his orange soda.
"I see" I couldn't take my eyes of her. Her every moment reminded me of her.
God, why does this "Miko" girl remind me of Mitsuko? It's been almost four years since Mitsuko passed away. She had leukemia at a very young age. Her parents did everything they could to keep her alive but in the end she slipped away from them and everyone else. Even though she had leukemia, Mitsuko was the happiest girl I know. I met her in the hospital because of a distant family member of mine was dying of cancer. I was only ten then and I couldn't stand seeing so many people crying at once so I left to do some exploring to pass time. It was her voice, her beautiful singing voice. Even till this day I can't forget it. I entered her room without knocking but she didn't mind. She was glad to have some company.
We introduced ourselves and had a wonderful conversation. I couldn't stop blushing the whole entire time. Mitsuko is cute and she's two years older than me. She was always smiling and laughing at all my jokes no matter how dumb and unfunny they are. I loved her with all my heart from that day on.
I visited her every single day. She listened to everything I have to tell her. I feel so safe and comforted when I'm with her.
"Mitsuko, do you think you will get better?" I asked her one day while having lunch with her under a big oak tree.
"Yes, I do." She smiled at me warmly.
"And what's the first thing you want to do when you're well?" I took a giant bite into my turkey sandwich.
"I want to lay in a field of flowers and be lost among them while watching clouds go by." She put down her sandwich and turned to me with so much passion in her eyes. "I want to strolls under the big blue sky and sunshine barefoot in a white dress without a care in the world."
"That sounds nice." I smiled at her.
"Yeah, it does." She agreed with me before biting into her sandwich.
"Okay, let's do it!" I jumped up
"Do what?" She gave me a confused look
"Let's go to that field once you're well."
"Really?" A glow appeared on her face
"Yeah, I promise I will take you once you're well."
"Thank you, Hikari" She beamed at me.
I blushed.
Mitsuko didn't get better. She passed away after I gradated from high school during the summer time. Her parents called me one day to let me know that Mitsuko only has a few days to live. I stayed up that night crying. The very next morning I rode my bike looking for a field of flowers. It took me a day but in the end I came upon a small field of flowers. This will do I thought to myself and picked an armful of flowers. I quickly rode back to the hospital. I burst into her room with the flowers dirty and sweaty. But she didn't care, she cried of tears of joy and embraced me tightly in her arms.
"I know you can't be at that field right now so I'm bringing a part of the field back to you." I blushed "But one day you will."
"Thank you, Hikari."
"Promise me you will take me there someday..." That was her last words to me right before she closed her eyes.
"I promise..." I whispered into her ears as I struggled to hold back the tears. "I love you, Mitsuko."
Mitsuko passed away that summer and took my summer along with her...
"I'm starving!" He took a seat right across from me. "You want to get some food?"
"Yeah let me finish up this last page."
It didn't take me too long to finish up what I was reading and I went with Kenji to his favorite ramen shop just down the block from the school. We both ordered the house special ramen with everything and two sodas. While we were waiting for our food, a girl walked in. At first glance, she didn't really catch my eyes until she opened up her mouth to order some sashimi with green tea. Her voice, it reminded me so much of her.
"Mitsuko?"
"Who?" Kenji looked at me with a confused look. "Who are you calling to?"
"That girl!" I pointed her out. Kenji turned around quickly to have a look at her.
"Oh that girl?" Kenji turned back and looked at me straight in the eyes "Her name is not Mitsuko, its Miko."
"Are you sure?" I lowered my voice to make sure Miko doesn't hear us.
"Yeah, she's Tanaka sensei's daughter." Kenji took a slip of his orange soda.
"I see" I couldn't take my eyes of her. Her every moment reminded me of her.
God, why does this "Miko" girl remind me of Mitsuko? It's been almost four years since Mitsuko passed away. She had leukemia at a very young age. Her parents did everything they could to keep her alive but in the end she slipped away from them and everyone else. Even though she had leukemia, Mitsuko was the happiest girl I know. I met her in the hospital because of a distant family member of mine was dying of cancer. I was only ten then and I couldn't stand seeing so many people crying at once so I left to do some exploring to pass time. It was her voice, her beautiful singing voice. Even till this day I can't forget it. I entered her room without knocking but she didn't mind. She was glad to have some company.
We introduced ourselves and had a wonderful conversation. I couldn't stop blushing the whole entire time. Mitsuko is cute and she's two years older than me. She was always smiling and laughing at all my jokes no matter how dumb and unfunny they are. I loved her with all my heart from that day on.
I visited her every single day. She listened to everything I have to tell her. I feel so safe and comforted when I'm with her.
"Mitsuko, do you think you will get better?" I asked her one day while having lunch with her under a big oak tree.
"Yes, I do." She smiled at me warmly.
"And what's the first thing you want to do when you're well?" I took a giant bite into my turkey sandwich.
"I want to lay in a field of flowers and be lost among them while watching clouds go by." She put down her sandwich and turned to me with so much passion in her eyes. "I want to strolls under the big blue sky and sunshine barefoot in a white dress without a care in the world."
"That sounds nice." I smiled at her.
"Yeah, it does." She agreed with me before biting into her sandwich.
"Okay, let's do it!" I jumped up
"Do what?" She gave me a confused look
"Let's go to that field once you're well."
"Really?" A glow appeared on her face
"Yeah, I promise I will take you once you're well."
"Thank you, Hikari" She beamed at me.
I blushed.
Mitsuko didn't get better. She passed away after I gradated from high school during the summer time. Her parents called me one day to let me know that Mitsuko only has a few days to live. I stayed up that night crying. The very next morning I rode my bike looking for a field of flowers. It took me a day but in the end I came upon a small field of flowers. This will do I thought to myself and picked an armful of flowers. I quickly rode back to the hospital. I burst into her room with the flowers dirty and sweaty. But she didn't care, she cried of tears of joy and embraced me tightly in her arms.
"I know you can't be at that field right now so I'm bringing a part of the field back to you." I blushed "But one day you will."
"Thank you, Hikari."
"Promise me you will take me there someday..." That was her last words to me right before she closed her eyes.
"I promise..." I whispered into her ears as I struggled to hold back the tears. "I love you, Mitsuko."
Mitsuko passed away that summer and took my summer along with her...
Raindrops
“I wish I could just close my eyes and simply sleep like you…”
At the sight of an empty wine bottle sitting on the kitchen table, Tetsuo let out a loud sigh and knew that she stayed up another night. He cleared the table without much effort and started on breakfast. At the smell of fresh coffee, his girlfriend Eri walked in. Without a word to him, she quickly went to the cabinet and grabbed a coffee mug.
“Good morning to you too,” Tetsuo said with a slight hint of ignorance in his tone.
“Oh, good morning.” Eri muttered without even looking at him. She poured herself some coffee and quickly devoured within minutes.
“I see you stayed up another night.” Tetsuo showed her the empty wine bottle.
“I guess.” Eri said as she went on pouring herself another cup of coffee.
“You can’t keep doing this!” Tetsuo said. “You have to a least try to sleep.”
“I tried!” Eri said with her back to him. “But I can’t fall asleep like you!”
“Then let’s go see a doctor after breakfast.” Tetsuo hugged her. “I don’t want to see an empty bed each morning and finding empty wine bottles on the table. I want to be able to wake up next to you.”
Eri didn’t even look at him but she did nod her head at his request.
After breakfast, they went to see Doctor Atsushi Narusegawa, an old friend of Tetsuo’s and his doctor since childhood.
“It’s good to see you, Tetsuo.” Atsushi smiled at the sigh of Tetsuo. “Are you feeling ill?”
“No, it’s not me.” Tetsuo smiled back politely. “It’s my girlfriend, Eri. She has trouble sleeping and haven’t slept in almost three weeks”
“Oh my. I too would be concerned.” Atsushi turned his attention to Eri. “Are you going through stress?”
“No.” Eri answered. “I don’t know.”
“Do you have any medical problems that may be the caused of your insomnia?” Atsushi wrote something down on a piece paper.
“No not that I know of.” Eri bit her bottom lip.
“We’ll run some tests just to be sure.” Atsushi said as he got up and gave the paper to the nurse.
Tetsuo took Eri to a nice sushi restaurant for lunch after her tests. “By next week we will know the results to your tests.”
Eri didn’t say a word; she was too busy staring into the streets.
After a week, Atsushi called Tesuto and said “I suggest you go see a therapist or psychologist for Eri.” Atsushi paused long enough for Tetsuo to said, “I see.”
“Yes, she’s healthy so I’m thinking it may be a psychological thing. Maybe something happened when she was a child or something she is going through now and is not telling you.”
“Thank you for your time, Atsushi.” Tetsuo said politely before they exchanged a quick good bye.
Eri walked in with a book she’s been devouring since this morning.
“Honey, is there something that’s bothering you?” Tetsuo asked.
“No.” Eri answered as she took a seat on the coach.
“Are you sure?” Tetsuo pushed on. “You know I’m here for you and I would do anything for you.”
“I’m fine.” Eri said.
“Atsushi called and-“ Before Tetsuo could finish his sentence Eri cut him off and said, “I know what he said. I heard everything.”
“Then talk to me!” Tetsuo pleaded with her.
“I’m fine!” Eri protested and that was the end of their discussion.
Staring at herself in the mirror, Eri felt helpless. She loves Tetsuo with all her heart and it hurts her to see him like this. If only I could fall asleep then everything will be okay between him and I…
That night Eri decided to give it another try. She got into bed in a long shirt and underwear, right next to Tetsuo who was busy reading a business magazine. She looks at him with complete tenderness and kisses him. She started with his cheeks, neck and ended up with his lips. He quickly dropped the magazine and returned her kisses. Tetsuo’s hand innocently wandered down to her crotch area. Without any hesitation, he took off her underwear and gently massages her before putting his fingers in her vagina.
She lets out a gentle moan. He fingers her for a bit before inserting his penis. Tetsuo usually like to start off slow and gentle before picking up speed. Eri’s mind, a blank canvas now filled with complete pleasure. She could feel his penis deep inside of her, creating this intimate understanding and connection between them. They didn’t have to exchange a single word, for the pleasure was enough to keep them going. When the sex was over, Eri closed her eyes waiting for sleep to fall on her. Tetsuo went to sleep without much trouble.
At the sight of millions of flashing lights like the flash on a camera but millions of them aiming at her woke her up from her sleep. She looks at the time and it’s only one in the morning before looking over at Tetsuo who is sleeping soundly like a baby. She got off the bed and went to the kitchen. Her throat felt dry and she decided to get something to drink. She took a bottle of wine from the cabinet and pours herself a glass.
By three, it started drizzling outside. At the sight of the rain from her kitchen window, Eri quickly changed her clothes and went out for a walk. She stopped at an empty park and took a seat on a wet bench. She looks up into the starless sky and held her hands out to catch raindrops. The raindrops felt like little kisses on her skin. The night was no longer long and lonely to her now. There was this warmth that she can’t explain but it made everything cleared to her.
The alarm next to Tetsuo’s bedside went off at exactly eight. He reached over only to be greeted by an empty bed. He quickly pulled on a clean boxer and made his way to their kitchen. In the kitchen he was surprised to the sight of Eri cooking breakfast and coffee already made.
She greeted him with a smile and a kiss.
“I’m confused…what’s going on?” Tetsuo still in shocked.
“Nothing, sweetie.” Eri continued to smile.
Whatever happened last night, Eri can’t explain or even recall but she knew something magical happened. It was her little secret from Tetsuo and with sleep coming back to her little by little as the days went on. She knows she’s going to be fine just like she did in the beginning…
At the sight of an empty wine bottle sitting on the kitchen table, Tetsuo let out a loud sigh and knew that she stayed up another night. He cleared the table without much effort and started on breakfast. At the smell of fresh coffee, his girlfriend Eri walked in. Without a word to him, she quickly went to the cabinet and grabbed a coffee mug.
“Good morning to you too,” Tetsuo said with a slight hint of ignorance in his tone.
“Oh, good morning.” Eri muttered without even looking at him. She poured herself some coffee and quickly devoured within minutes.
“I see you stayed up another night.” Tetsuo showed her the empty wine bottle.
“I guess.” Eri said as she went on pouring herself another cup of coffee.
“You can’t keep doing this!” Tetsuo said. “You have to a least try to sleep.”
“I tried!” Eri said with her back to him. “But I can’t fall asleep like you!”
“Then let’s go see a doctor after breakfast.” Tetsuo hugged her. “I don’t want to see an empty bed each morning and finding empty wine bottles on the table. I want to be able to wake up next to you.”
Eri didn’t even look at him but she did nod her head at his request.
After breakfast, they went to see Doctor Atsushi Narusegawa, an old friend of Tetsuo’s and his doctor since childhood.
“It’s good to see you, Tetsuo.” Atsushi smiled at the sigh of Tetsuo. “Are you feeling ill?”
“No, it’s not me.” Tetsuo smiled back politely. “It’s my girlfriend, Eri. She has trouble sleeping and haven’t slept in almost three weeks”
“Oh my. I too would be concerned.” Atsushi turned his attention to Eri. “Are you going through stress?”
“No.” Eri answered. “I don’t know.”
“Do you have any medical problems that may be the caused of your insomnia?” Atsushi wrote something down on a piece paper.
“No not that I know of.” Eri bit her bottom lip.
“We’ll run some tests just to be sure.” Atsushi said as he got up and gave the paper to the nurse.
Tetsuo took Eri to a nice sushi restaurant for lunch after her tests. “By next week we will know the results to your tests.”
Eri didn’t say a word; she was too busy staring into the streets.
After a week, Atsushi called Tesuto and said “I suggest you go see a therapist or psychologist for Eri.” Atsushi paused long enough for Tetsuo to said, “I see.”
“Yes, she’s healthy so I’m thinking it may be a psychological thing. Maybe something happened when she was a child or something she is going through now and is not telling you.”
“Thank you for your time, Atsushi.” Tetsuo said politely before they exchanged a quick good bye.
Eri walked in with a book she’s been devouring since this morning.
“Honey, is there something that’s bothering you?” Tetsuo asked.
“No.” Eri answered as she took a seat on the coach.
“Are you sure?” Tetsuo pushed on. “You know I’m here for you and I would do anything for you.”
“I’m fine.” Eri said.
“Atsushi called and-“ Before Tetsuo could finish his sentence Eri cut him off and said, “I know what he said. I heard everything.”
“Then talk to me!” Tetsuo pleaded with her.
“I’m fine!” Eri protested and that was the end of their discussion.
Staring at herself in the mirror, Eri felt helpless. She loves Tetsuo with all her heart and it hurts her to see him like this. If only I could fall asleep then everything will be okay between him and I…
That night Eri decided to give it another try. She got into bed in a long shirt and underwear, right next to Tetsuo who was busy reading a business magazine. She looks at him with complete tenderness and kisses him. She started with his cheeks, neck and ended up with his lips. He quickly dropped the magazine and returned her kisses. Tetsuo’s hand innocently wandered down to her crotch area. Without any hesitation, he took off her underwear and gently massages her before putting his fingers in her vagina.
She lets out a gentle moan. He fingers her for a bit before inserting his penis. Tetsuo usually like to start off slow and gentle before picking up speed. Eri’s mind, a blank canvas now filled with complete pleasure. She could feel his penis deep inside of her, creating this intimate understanding and connection between them. They didn’t have to exchange a single word, for the pleasure was enough to keep them going. When the sex was over, Eri closed her eyes waiting for sleep to fall on her. Tetsuo went to sleep without much trouble.
At the sight of millions of flashing lights like the flash on a camera but millions of them aiming at her woke her up from her sleep. She looks at the time and it’s only one in the morning before looking over at Tetsuo who is sleeping soundly like a baby. She got off the bed and went to the kitchen. Her throat felt dry and she decided to get something to drink. She took a bottle of wine from the cabinet and pours herself a glass.
By three, it started drizzling outside. At the sight of the rain from her kitchen window, Eri quickly changed her clothes and went out for a walk. She stopped at an empty park and took a seat on a wet bench. She looks up into the starless sky and held her hands out to catch raindrops. The raindrops felt like little kisses on her skin. The night was no longer long and lonely to her now. There was this warmth that she can’t explain but it made everything cleared to her.
The alarm next to Tetsuo’s bedside went off at exactly eight. He reached over only to be greeted by an empty bed. He quickly pulled on a clean boxer and made his way to their kitchen. In the kitchen he was surprised to the sight of Eri cooking breakfast and coffee already made.
She greeted him with a smile and a kiss.
“I’m confused…what’s going on?” Tetsuo still in shocked.
“Nothing, sweetie.” Eri continued to smile.
Whatever happened last night, Eri can’t explain or even recall but she knew something magical happened. It was her little secret from Tetsuo and with sleep coming back to her little by little as the days went on. She knows she’s going to be fine just like she did in the beginning…
Room 304
He gently brushed away a strand of hair from her face before leaning over to kiss her soft lips. He wore a blue button down shirt with a dark color tie to match today. By the end of the day, he was still wondering why he chose to dressed up, but the fact she likes it was enough to reinsured him that he made a good choice. She had on a simple little black dress with her hair loose.
She was quiet today, very quiet. He did all the talking today, but he knew soon he will be at lost for words if she doesn't start talking.
"Is something bothering you?" He waited for her to answer him.
After a few minutes, she pointed to her right and said, "Let's go over there."
He followed her without a word. They walked in silence for twenty minutes or so and she stopped suddenly in front of a small building.
"Sakuragi Hotel" He read out loud to himself and immediately turned to her with a question mark on his face.
"Let's go in." She said.
The hotel was old and dusty. The thickness of the dirt and dusts can be seen from the entrance of the hotel. The waiting room was empty with only a few tables and seats sitting around. He noticed in the left side corner of the hotel was an old record player playing Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York". The hotel manager greeted them warmly and gave them the key to a room before going back to his newspaper.
"This is one of my favorite song." He told the hotel manager.
"I'm glad." He said without looking up from his paper.
The elevator broke so they had to take the stairs up to their room. The stairs creaked with each step they took. "I can see why he has no customers." He chuckled to himself.
They stopped on the third floor in front of room 304. The room was just the right size for two people. He noticed that the red carpet in the room has lost its color and the white paints were peeling off from the walls. The television in their room was broken along with the mini fridge. "Let's go to a better hotel." He suggested to her.
She didn't answer him and made her way to the window curtains to fix them.
He let out a sigh and made his way into the bathroom. To his surprise, there was actually hot water in this hotel. "I guess something I can look forward to now." He muttered to himself.
He came out of the bathroom only to find the room darker than he remembered. he noticed the curtains are now closed, the table lamp was on, and she was sitting on the bed with her face buried in her hands.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Please close the bathroom light" She said quietly. He did so immediately and returned back to their room.
Before he could say a single word or ask another question, she took off her black dress right in front of him revealing a simple black bra and matching underwear. She made her way to him and gently undid his tie and soon his shirt. He didn't protest but he was nervous. After she undressed him, she leaned forwarded and kissed him before backing away a few steps to unhooked her bra and took off her underwear. They made love soon after that with great passion that kept them going all through the night.
Morning soon arrived and the sun light slipped through the gaps between the curtains. He opened his eyes only to find himself alone. He panicked and got dressed immediately. He looked every where in the room for her but she was no where to be found. He ran down the stairs and into the front desk. "Where is she?" He yelled at the hotel manager.
Confused and alarmed the hotel manager managed to asked, "What are you talking about sir?"
"I came in here last night with my girlfriend and now she's gone!" His voice now even louder than before.
"Please keep your voice down, we have other customers around here." The hotel manager pointed out. "I don't know what you're talking about. You came in here last night alone."
The hotel manager reinsured him by showing him a tape from their surveillance camera. Indeed he came alone and requested a room.
He turned around and was also surprised to find the hotel clean and new with actual customers sitting around. "What's going on here?" He asked himself. In the left corner of the hotel room he noticed the old record player was still there, and it was playing Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Moon". He went back to his room wondering "Why are everything different now."
To his surprise, a white cat greeted him right after he opened the door to his room. There was a note attached to the cat's collar. He read it a few times before picking up the cat and said, "Let's go home...cat." The cat didn't protest and they went home together shortly after.
Later in the afternoon....
The hotel waitresses came in to clean room 304. One of them discovered a note laying on the pillow and read out loud to herself.
Dear Ken,
What to say? There are some things better left unexplained but it can be understood with the heart. I know you love me in ways I can't ask for anymore except to continue to take care and love me. Did you know that lately you're all I need? I'm sorry and please forgive me.
Love always,
Ai
"This doesn't make any senses." The waitress crumpled the note up and dropped it in the garbage can before locking up the bedroom door to room 304.
She was quiet today, very quiet. He did all the talking today, but he knew soon he will be at lost for words if she doesn't start talking.
"Is something bothering you?" He waited for her to answer him.
After a few minutes, she pointed to her right and said, "Let's go over there."
He followed her without a word. They walked in silence for twenty minutes or so and she stopped suddenly in front of a small building.
"Sakuragi Hotel" He read out loud to himself and immediately turned to her with a question mark on his face.
"Let's go in." She said.
The hotel was old and dusty. The thickness of the dirt and dusts can be seen from the entrance of the hotel. The waiting room was empty with only a few tables and seats sitting around. He noticed in the left side corner of the hotel was an old record player playing Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York". The hotel manager greeted them warmly and gave them the key to a room before going back to his newspaper.
"This is one of my favorite song." He told the hotel manager.
"I'm glad." He said without looking up from his paper.
The elevator broke so they had to take the stairs up to their room. The stairs creaked with each step they took. "I can see why he has no customers." He chuckled to himself.
They stopped on the third floor in front of room 304. The room was just the right size for two people. He noticed that the red carpet in the room has lost its color and the white paints were peeling off from the walls. The television in their room was broken along with the mini fridge. "Let's go to a better hotel." He suggested to her.
She didn't answer him and made her way to the window curtains to fix them.
He let out a sigh and made his way into the bathroom. To his surprise, there was actually hot water in this hotel. "I guess something I can look forward to now." He muttered to himself.
He came out of the bathroom only to find the room darker than he remembered. he noticed the curtains are now closed, the table lamp was on, and she was sitting on the bed with her face buried in her hands.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Please close the bathroom light" She said quietly. He did so immediately and returned back to their room.
Before he could say a single word or ask another question, she took off her black dress right in front of him revealing a simple black bra and matching underwear. She made her way to him and gently undid his tie and soon his shirt. He didn't protest but he was nervous. After she undressed him, she leaned forwarded and kissed him before backing away a few steps to unhooked her bra and took off her underwear. They made love soon after that with great passion that kept them going all through the night.
Morning soon arrived and the sun light slipped through the gaps between the curtains. He opened his eyes only to find himself alone. He panicked and got dressed immediately. He looked every where in the room for her but she was no where to be found. He ran down the stairs and into the front desk. "Where is she?" He yelled at the hotel manager.
Confused and alarmed the hotel manager managed to asked, "What are you talking about sir?"
"I came in here last night with my girlfriend and now she's gone!" His voice now even louder than before.
"Please keep your voice down, we have other customers around here." The hotel manager pointed out. "I don't know what you're talking about. You came in here last night alone."
The hotel manager reinsured him by showing him a tape from their surveillance camera. Indeed he came alone and requested a room.
He turned around and was also surprised to find the hotel clean and new with actual customers sitting around. "What's going on here?" He asked himself. In the left corner of the hotel room he noticed the old record player was still there, and it was playing Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Moon". He went back to his room wondering "Why are everything different now."
To his surprise, a white cat greeted him right after he opened the door to his room. There was a note attached to the cat's collar. He read it a few times before picking up the cat and said, "Let's go home...cat." The cat didn't protest and they went home together shortly after.
Later in the afternoon....
The hotel waitresses came in to clean room 304. One of them discovered a note laying on the pillow and read out loud to herself.
Dear Ken,
What to say? There are some things better left unexplained but it can be understood with the heart. I know you love me in ways I can't ask for anymore except to continue to take care and love me. Did you know that lately you're all I need? I'm sorry and please forgive me.
Love always,
Ai
"This doesn't make any senses." The waitress crumpled the note up and dropped it in the garbage can before locking up the bedroom door to room 304.
Routine
I follow a very specific routine every night right after I get out of work and before I go to bed. Most people would think I have OCD but it's nothing like that. I can easily break away from this routine if I wanted to.
I get out of work at exactly 6:00 with a just enough time to catch the 6:10 train home. I write restaurant reviews for a small food magazine company. My routine starts with a slight bow to my co-workers right before I close the door on them. I would then walk in a steady pace to the train station with my right foot first followed by my left foot. I would arrive at exactly 3 minutes before 6:10 and catch the train without a rush. There are always no seats during this time so I would stand the whole entire train ride home. After I get out of the train, I would resume back to my steady pace home. Hiro, my cat would greet me right after I entered the house. I would then drop everything in the closet and feed him. After attending to Hiro, I would go into the kitchen to make dinner. I always have a bowl of salad with Russian dressing to go along with my well done steak and a cup of black coffee. I eat this combination every night. I don't see the need of making something new every night. I cut my steak into 11 little pieces before putting one into my mouth with a fork. I would then wash it down with my coffee before putting some salad into my mouth. This cycle of rather odd eating would repeat itself until everything is gone from my plate and cup. I would wash the plate and cup immediately before going into the living room to turn the record player and the reading lamp on. I would cut myself a slice of strawberry cheesecake to accompany my glass of red wine as I take a seat in my reading chair. I always read the same book and would repeat it once it's finished. At exactly 11:00 I would go shower, layout my clothes for the next day, and then to bed at 12.
This is indeed an odd routine to follow. I can function perfectly fine without following it but why would I? You may now be wondering how did this routine came to be? It started a month ago when I met her on the train. I got out of work like any other day except I had to run an errand so I missed my 6:10 train home. I got to the train station at a quarter to seven. She was already there at the station waiting for the train. The train was still somewhat packed with a few available seats here and there. We both got on the same train and I waited for her to find a seat first. She picked one by the door and I took a seat right across from her. I find myself gazing at her without realizing it. She was reading a book but occasionally she would look up from her book and catch me gazing at her. We both got off at the same stop. I didn't realize it at first but she was following me home, walking in the same steady pace as I am.
I turned around and asked, "May I help you miss?"
She paused before answering, "May I come home with you tonight?"
I was shocked. "Do you need a home or something?"
She smiled and said, "I have a home but I want to stay with you tonight."
I thought to myself why not and it's been awhile since I had company over. Plus she's a decent looking girl in her late 20s. We walked home together.
She adored Hiro very much and played with him while I made dinner.
"What would you like to eat miss?" I asked from the kitchen.
"I would like a bowl of salad, steak and a cup of black coffee please" She answered back without any hesitation.
I was a bit surprised at her request since you know how women are when it comes to eating but I made it anyway. She cut her steaks up into 11 little pieces before putting one into her mouth, washing it down with coffee and then some salad.
"Why did you do all that?" I was very interested.
"I don't want to choke so I cut my steak into little pieces." She wiped her mouth with a napkin.
"But why 11?" I asked.
"I like odd numbers." She smiled.
"But this eating cycle you're following by is..." I couldn't find the right word to describe it.
"Odd?" She asked.
"Well...yes I guess you can say that." I agreed.
"I like it and I don't know why I do it." She said.
After dinner, I did the dishes and offered her desert. She wanted cheesecake and wine, which I didn't have at home. I don't know why I even bothered but I put on my jacket and went to the supermarket and got a strawberry cheesecake and red wine. By the time I got home, she was reading her book on my reading seat with the record player on. I cut both of us some cake and poured red wine into my wine glasses. She wanted to shower at exactly 11. I went up to my room 30 mins later to find her looking through my closet.
"What are you doing miss?" I left the door opened just enough for Hiro to squeeze through at night.
"I'm picking out what you're going to wear to work tomorrow." She said.
"Oh...thank you then. I guess I'll go shower since you're done." I grabbed my towel and went into the bathroom.
We didn't have sex that night. She requested to go to bed at 12 and I did the same. We slept in the same bed but nothing happened. I honestly wasn't disappointed that we didn't have sex. I guess I was just happy to have company and I think she was happy to have a company too.
She left right before morning while I was still sleeping. She didn't leave any note and I never saw her again. But she did leave a good impression on me and I made her routine a part of my life even though she is not. She did leave her book behind which I have read a hundred times. And now you know why. You may now think I'm crazy in love with this weird girl but honestly I can't say I am. I don't exactly know why I follow this routine but I know I do it every night. I also came into realization a month later that I don't her name except the name I gave her that night which will always be "miss".
I get out of work at exactly 6:00 with a just enough time to catch the 6:10 train home. I write restaurant reviews for a small food magazine company. My routine starts with a slight bow to my co-workers right before I close the door on them. I would then walk in a steady pace to the train station with my right foot first followed by my left foot. I would arrive at exactly 3 minutes before 6:10 and catch the train without a rush. There are always no seats during this time so I would stand the whole entire train ride home. After I get out of the train, I would resume back to my steady pace home. Hiro, my cat would greet me right after I entered the house. I would then drop everything in the closet and feed him. After attending to Hiro, I would go into the kitchen to make dinner. I always have a bowl of salad with Russian dressing to go along with my well done steak and a cup of black coffee. I eat this combination every night. I don't see the need of making something new every night. I cut my steak into 11 little pieces before putting one into my mouth with a fork. I would then wash it down with my coffee before putting some salad into my mouth. This cycle of rather odd eating would repeat itself until everything is gone from my plate and cup. I would wash the plate and cup immediately before going into the living room to turn the record player and the reading lamp on. I would cut myself a slice of strawberry cheesecake to accompany my glass of red wine as I take a seat in my reading chair. I always read the same book and would repeat it once it's finished. At exactly 11:00 I would go shower, layout my clothes for the next day, and then to bed at 12.
This is indeed an odd routine to follow. I can function perfectly fine without following it but why would I? You may now be wondering how did this routine came to be? It started a month ago when I met her on the train. I got out of work like any other day except I had to run an errand so I missed my 6:10 train home. I got to the train station at a quarter to seven. She was already there at the station waiting for the train. The train was still somewhat packed with a few available seats here and there. We both got on the same train and I waited for her to find a seat first. She picked one by the door and I took a seat right across from her. I find myself gazing at her without realizing it. She was reading a book but occasionally she would look up from her book and catch me gazing at her. We both got off at the same stop. I didn't realize it at first but she was following me home, walking in the same steady pace as I am.
I turned around and asked, "May I help you miss?"
She paused before answering, "May I come home with you tonight?"
I was shocked. "Do you need a home or something?"
She smiled and said, "I have a home but I want to stay with you tonight."
I thought to myself why not and it's been awhile since I had company over. Plus she's a decent looking girl in her late 20s. We walked home together.
She adored Hiro very much and played with him while I made dinner.
"What would you like to eat miss?" I asked from the kitchen.
"I would like a bowl of salad, steak and a cup of black coffee please" She answered back without any hesitation.
I was a bit surprised at her request since you know how women are when it comes to eating but I made it anyway. She cut her steaks up into 11 little pieces before putting one into her mouth, washing it down with coffee and then some salad.
"Why did you do all that?" I was very interested.
"I don't want to choke so I cut my steak into little pieces." She wiped her mouth with a napkin.
"But why 11?" I asked.
"I like odd numbers." She smiled.
"But this eating cycle you're following by is..." I couldn't find the right word to describe it.
"Odd?" She asked.
"Well...yes I guess you can say that." I agreed.
"I like it and I don't know why I do it." She said.
After dinner, I did the dishes and offered her desert. She wanted cheesecake and wine, which I didn't have at home. I don't know why I even bothered but I put on my jacket and went to the supermarket and got a strawberry cheesecake and red wine. By the time I got home, she was reading her book on my reading seat with the record player on. I cut both of us some cake and poured red wine into my wine glasses. She wanted to shower at exactly 11. I went up to my room 30 mins later to find her looking through my closet.
"What are you doing miss?" I left the door opened just enough for Hiro to squeeze through at night.
"I'm picking out what you're going to wear to work tomorrow." She said.
"Oh...thank you then. I guess I'll go shower since you're done." I grabbed my towel and went into the bathroom.
We didn't have sex that night. She requested to go to bed at 12 and I did the same. We slept in the same bed but nothing happened. I honestly wasn't disappointed that we didn't have sex. I guess I was just happy to have company and I think she was happy to have a company too.
She left right before morning while I was still sleeping. She didn't leave any note and I never saw her again. But she did leave a good impression on me and I made her routine a part of my life even though she is not. She did leave her book behind which I have read a hundred times. And now you know why. You may now think I'm crazy in love with this weird girl but honestly I can't say I am. I don't exactly know why I follow this routine but I know I do it every night. I also came into realization a month later that I don't her name except the name I gave her that night which will always be "miss".
Wine
The stars are devouring the Tokyo's night sky one light at a time. I poured myself another glass of red wine before taking a seat on our balcony. I noticed the city is even more lively tonight than it was last night or the night before that. I can feel my stomach a bit queasy from my second glass of wine but I guess that's what I get for skipping out on dinner tonight. I placed the wine glass down on a nearby table and joined you in the comfort of our bed. I saw you cried today. Did you know that I cried myself? I held you tightly so you wouldn't see the tears that were running down my face. I may not always understand the things you're going through but I do understand it's time like this that you need me more than anything else in this world. I made you dinner and you went to bed shortly after only one glass of wine but that was enough to help you sleep soundly. I turned over to face you and realized that if I could I would take away all the things that make you cry so all you have is laughter. Darling, I may be selfish when it comes to you but that is only because I love you so much. I closed my eyes and decided to sleep this queasiness away. Maybe tomorrow I will remember to eat before I drink.
Black Coffee
The first thing I noticed when I entered his room was my old record collection sitting on the corner shelf, untouched and unmoved.
"You can throw them out." I pointed out to him. "I don't collect them anymore."
"They bring me comfort." He said without looking at me, and quickly picked up some old newspapers and magazines off the couch to make room for me to sit.
"I'll go make us some coffee." He took off his jacket and went into the kitchen.
"I take my coffee with milk and sugar now." I followed him into the kitchen.
After hearing this, he quickly turned around and said, "But you always take your coffee black."
"That was in the past just like those old records." I smiled at him. "I changed!"
He didn't smile back instead he made our coffee in silence.
I left his place shortly after I finished my coffee. Even though I had milk and sugar, the coffee he made still tasted bitter in my mouth. I was able to catch the last train home, and took a seat next to a gentlemen with a cup of coffee.
"Black coffee?" I asked without thinking.
He nodded his head and took a sip from his cup.
"Pretty bitter huh?" I asked again.
He nodded his head again and took another sip.
After that, I sat in silence watching the city go by before me from the window.
I missed my stop but I didn't mind. I got off at the last stop and went to a coffee shop.
"What would you like miss?" The old guy asked me from the counter.
"A medium black coffee please." I replied back.
"That would be 350 yen please." He handed me my coffee and I gave him the money.
Immediately, I took a sip and I could feel the bitterness of the coffee devouring me slowly with great force. The strong coffee scent suppressed me and I found myself drowning in its warmth. I took some time to finish this cup of coffee and afterward I felt satisfied.
I took my cell phone and dialed his number.
"Yuna, what's wrong?" He asked.
"Kenji, I just had a black coffee and I'm satisfied." I said.
He paused.
"I'm sorry." I find myself crying uncontrollably.
"Where are you?" He asked calmly.
"At sakuragi cafe." I answered.
"I will be there shortly." He said gently.
Fifteen mins later, he arrived with his car and drove me back to his place, and I stayed over that night. The next morning he woke up to the sight of me dusting my old record collection. He made breakfast and coffee for me, and this time even though mine was black, it didn't taste bitter at all.
"You can throw them out." I pointed out to him. "I don't collect them anymore."
"They bring me comfort." He said without looking at me, and quickly picked up some old newspapers and magazines off the couch to make room for me to sit.
"I'll go make us some coffee." He took off his jacket and went into the kitchen.
"I take my coffee with milk and sugar now." I followed him into the kitchen.
After hearing this, he quickly turned around and said, "But you always take your coffee black."
"That was in the past just like those old records." I smiled at him. "I changed!"
He didn't smile back instead he made our coffee in silence.
I left his place shortly after I finished my coffee. Even though I had milk and sugar, the coffee he made still tasted bitter in my mouth. I was able to catch the last train home, and took a seat next to a gentlemen with a cup of coffee.
"Black coffee?" I asked without thinking.
He nodded his head and took a sip from his cup.
"Pretty bitter huh?" I asked again.
He nodded his head again and took another sip.
After that, I sat in silence watching the city go by before me from the window.
I missed my stop but I didn't mind. I got off at the last stop and went to a coffee shop.
"What would you like miss?" The old guy asked me from the counter.
"A medium black coffee please." I replied back.
"That would be 350 yen please." He handed me my coffee and I gave him the money.
Immediately, I took a sip and I could feel the bitterness of the coffee devouring me slowly with great force. The strong coffee scent suppressed me and I found myself drowning in its warmth. I took some time to finish this cup of coffee and afterward I felt satisfied.
I took my cell phone and dialed his number.
"Yuna, what's wrong?" He asked.
"Kenji, I just had a black coffee and I'm satisfied." I said.
He paused.
"I'm sorry." I find myself crying uncontrollably.
"Where are you?" He asked calmly.
"At sakuragi cafe." I answered.
"I will be there shortly." He said gently.
Fifteen mins later, he arrived with his car and drove me back to his place, and I stayed over that night. The next morning he woke up to the sight of me dusting my old record collection. He made breakfast and coffee for me, and this time even though mine was black, it didn't taste bitter at all.
I Want to Remember For You
１１月２４日２００４年
永次君へ (To Eiji)、
ごめね。。。君に覚えていたいです。有難うございます。(I’m sorry…I want to remember for you. Thank you.)
－恵美 (Emi)
Eiji must have read that note a million times before letting it fall onto the floor and realized that his biggest fear has finally caught up with him. Feeling completely drained mentally and physically, he poured himself a glass of whisky and drank himself to sleep…
…Six years later.
“I can’t believe you’re finally proposing to Aiko.”
Eiji took two glasses and a bottle of whisky from his kitchen cabinet before joining his best friend Seta in the living room.
“I can’t believe it myself.” Seta smiled as he placed an old record into Eiji’s record player. “I almost forgot…a letter came in today for you.” Seta reached into his jacket pocket and took out a pink envelope.
Eiji studied the pink envelope for some minutes before opening it. The pink envelope has a slight scent of something familiar but he can’t quit remember what.
4月２０日２０１０年
永次君へ (To Eiji)、
それが長い時間。。。お元気ですか? 君は私に覚えていですか? 私は元気です。。。君がいなくて寂しいです。(It’s been a long time…how are you? Do you remember me? I’m doing fine... I miss you.)
―恵美 (Emi)
Eiji grabbed the envelope from the table but there was no return address anywhere.
“What’s wrong?” Seta asked.
“I have to go to the post office now!” Eiji said. Before Seta could stop him, Eiji was out of their apartment and into the cold and busy streets.
“Could you trace or tell me where this letter came from?” Eiji wasted no time at the information desk of the post office.
“I’m sorry I can’t do that.” The information lady answered politely. “It’s against the law for us to be giving out private information of another sender to you.”
“But-“ Eiji protested
“I’m sorry! I can’t help you!” She looked at him straight in the eyes before calling “Next!”
What a bitch! Eiji thought to himself as he walked out of the post office. He zipped up his jacket and made his way into a ramen shop a few blocks away. The ramen shop was small, dark and dusty. There was only three customers there not including himself. They were all too busy wolfing down their food to notice him. Eiji took a seat in a corner by a small window. He ordered some sake and dumplings before rereading Emi’s letter.
It was the summer of 2000 and Eiji was excited to be starting college in the fall. At that time, Eiji was living at home with his retired architect father. They didn’t get along and often fought over small things. Eiji’s mother passed away shortly after giving birth to him. His father never came forward to tell Eiji that he was the reason for the lost of his wife but he does show it through his actions as a father. Eiji learned to fend for himself at a very young age because he had no one to depend on. But in the process, he tucked his childhood memories away so they can be forgotten.
He met Emi shortly after his freshmen year of college on a coffee line. She was reading Dante’s Inferno while waiting for her green tea chai latte. Eiji was next to order and he ordered a large red eye.
“That’s a good book.” Eiji said out loud without thinking.
Emi looked up and nodded her head.
“I’m Eiji Aki.” Eiji quickly introduced himself. “I’m majoring in civil engineering.”
Emi barely looked up and said, “It’s nice to meet you, Eiji kun. I’m Emi Ito and I don’t have a major yet…in fact I don’t know what I want to do.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Eiji reassured her. “You will know when the time is right.”
“Green tea chai latter?” the café person called out from behind the counter.
“That’s me.” Emi said and quickly made her way to her order. “Take care Eiji kun.”
“Yeah, you too.” Eiji waved as she disappeared into the crowd of students.
After only meeting her for a short amount of time, Eiji found himself missing her. It wasn’t like he’s in love with her or something but more of an infatuation. He made it his mission to find Emi.
Emi live by herself in a small apartment a block from school. She goes to school during the day and works at night to pay for everything. Emi lost both of her parents when she was only eight. Her aunt took her in because she couldn’t have a child of her own.
Through asking other students and gathering information, he was able to get her phone number, address and the bakery where she works at. Eiji surprised her one day at work and stayed with her until she got off work to walk her home. He kept her company and protected her.
From that day on, Eiji waited for her after work every day to walk her home and soon their friendship evolved into a love relationship. Their sex life was amazing and even till this day; Eiji would find himself reflecting back on those memories they shared.
By Emi’s second year, she decided on photography and writing as her majors. They shared everything together from their pasts to their futures and dreams. But there was one thing Eiji could never share with Emi and that was his childhood memories. It’s not like he doesn’t want to but more like he doesn’t remember them.
“You don’t remember anything from your childhood?” Emi asked one day after they made love. She rested her head on his bare chest. He gently leaned over and kissed her.
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“I guess along the way of growing up they were forgotten.” Eiji said with a slight hint of sadness in his voice.
“It’s okay.” Emi smiled “I will help you get them back and I will remember them for you so you don’t have to.”
“Silly girl.” Eiji smiled. “You’re not making any sense.”
“I am. You’ll see.”
Fall of senior year of college was the time Emi left me that good bye note. It torn me up and I have so many unanswered questions waiting for her to answer. Six years later I received another one from her. What does all this mean?
“Sir, we’re closing soon.” The cashier called to me from behind the counter.
“Yeah, yeah I’m leaving.”
By the time I got home, Seta was gone.
A few days later, I attended his wedding and came up with an excuse for walking out on him. And shortly after, I started to receive a letter from Emi every week. By reading her letters, it clams me down in a way words can’t explain. Her letters were filled with expression of love for me and at that moment I realized what she meant when she said, “I’ll remember them for you.” It was a form of love…
１２月１１日２０１０年
永次君へ、
有難う。私にとってはもう見しないでくださいしかし、私は遠くからあなたを愛してみましょう。私たちは一緒にすぐになります。私は君が大好きです。
－詠美
Untitled
Sitting in a seat across from you in a little downtown café by the beach, I find myself at lost for words at the sight of you. I do not know your name but I do know that I want you in ways I didn’t think is possible.
You ordered a cup of coffee with a butter croissant and took a seat right across from me next to a window view to the ocean. I noticed the small things such as the way your white dress fall flawlessly over your body, or the way your hair sit perfectly below your shoulder. Your lips, a light shade of red are quit tempting to me. Oh, how I want to take my fingers and trace the outline of your body so I could feel the softness of your skin.
Darling, I only pretended to be reading my novel so I could admire you without you noticing. I studied you in a way an artist would before he starts to paint something beautiful.
I put my novel down and took a sip of my black coffee; it tasted bitter yet strong to my mouth, just the way I like it. I left my oatmeal sitting in its bowl without the desire on finishing it.
Without a warning, you got up from your seat and made your way through the door. I quickly gathered up my things and followed you. I paced myself carefully so I will always be a few steps behind you.
Not even once did you look back. You walked in a steady pace that was easy to match. You stopped in front of the beach and took off your shoes. I rolled up my pants before taking off my shoes, but still I managed to catch up with you.
The sand is quit hot by this time of the day but you walked on carelessly into the water. I stayed behind and pretended to be looking at something else, but I was really looking at you. We stayed like this for almost an hour or so before you decided to leave. I didn’t follow you this time, I only watched in awe.
I let you go without a reason yet my heart is now drenched in despair at the lost of you. I do hope we can run into each other again. Maybe next time I will have the courage needed to confess it all to you. But for now farewell my dear…
You ordered a cup of coffee with a butter croissant and took a seat right across from me next to a window view to the ocean. I noticed the small things such as the way your white dress fall flawlessly over your body, or the way your hair sit perfectly below your shoulder. Your lips, a light shade of red are quit tempting to me. Oh, how I want to take my fingers and trace the outline of your body so I could feel the softness of your skin.
Darling, I only pretended to be reading my novel so I could admire you without you noticing. I studied you in a way an artist would before he starts to paint something beautiful.
I put my novel down and took a sip of my black coffee; it tasted bitter yet strong to my mouth, just the way I like it. I left my oatmeal sitting in its bowl without the desire on finishing it.
Without a warning, you got up from your seat and made your way through the door. I quickly gathered up my things and followed you. I paced myself carefully so I will always be a few steps behind you.
Not even once did you look back. You walked in a steady pace that was easy to match. You stopped in front of the beach and took off your shoes. I rolled up my pants before taking off my shoes, but still I managed to catch up with you.
The sand is quit hot by this time of the day but you walked on carelessly into the water. I stayed behind and pretended to be looking at something else, but I was really looking at you. We stayed like this for almost an hour or so before you decided to leave. I didn’t follow you this time, I only watched in awe.
I let you go without a reason yet my heart is now drenched in despair at the lost of you. I do hope we can run into each other again. Maybe next time I will have the courage needed to confess it all to you. But for now farewell my dear…
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